Since we do so many probates, we see what parts of your planning actually helped with probate (dos), and which ones didn’t really matter (don’t bothers).

We are reviewing this info so that you don’t spend too much of your valuable time on planning that won’t help all that much. This is based on our annual executor check in calls, in which we hear from our clients who have well intended plans to gather information for us, should we need it. Which in most cases, we don’t. We are trying to save you stress and make the estate planning process a little bit easier.

Solo ager estate planning “dos”

Good and proper storage of original documents is important. It’s best to keep the original with your professional executor or other third party. Do not keep it yourself. This is for many reasons, such as access your home or apartment. Additionally, if a third party loses your will, probate could still move forward with a copy. However, if you lose it, it’s presumed that you intentionally destroyed it. Same goes for a safe deposit box – it’s hard to get access to this. It’s not impossible, but it’s very challenging.

Update your emergency contacts and be sure your executor is among those listed. An emergency contact list should be given to someone who will know of your death. This could be a building manager, doorman, neighbor, primary care physician, etc. You want to make sure they know who to notify in the event of your passing, including of importance, your executor and next of kin.

You should also review your beneficiary designations. We have talked before about why we don’t like beneficiary designations, but if you have them, make sure up to date. Or better yet, get rid of them. You certainly want to make sure they represent your wishes, and not your wishes 10 or 20 years ago.

“Don’t bothers” for your solo ager estate plan

Don’t use treasure maps. We have received detailed letters and emails with where the will is, where their important documents are, and even where their spare keys are. More often than not, the location of these items will change by the time of your passing. It may take us longer to use the treasure map to find them than it would to simply look on our own. Plus, it would be a waste of time searching if they have been moved. It’s not worth the amount of time you’d spend writing this type of “map.”

We don’t need contact lists. Typically, the lists we’ve seen include building managers, financial advisors, etc. These change often. We find when we make these calls, the people on the list no longer even work there.

Speaking of lists, detailed lists of assets which include balances and very specific info is also not needed. High level information is good enough (such as the name of financial institution). Balances change daily, so by the time you write it down, it’s likely changed.

Sort of helpful

There are a few things we would categorize as sort of helpful, but you don’t need to spend time on these, if you don’t want.

Password lists are one example of a sort of helpful thing to do. A list is nice to have, but post-death access to online accounts is not permitted, even if we have your password and log in. We simply can’t use those passwords. Email and social accounts may have some use to be able to access names and addresses, although again, we have rarely used these. Same with phone passwords. We seldom log into a decedent’s phone, and if we do, it’s only to find a contact name that we couldn’t find elsewhere.

A high level asset list is sort of helpful. It will give us a general sense of what you own to point us in the right direction. We would use this list along with the other items we collect (mail, past tax returns, bank statements, etc.) to be sure we aren’t missing something.

A list of contacts that are likely to not change is also sort of helpful. This includes next of kin, your primary care doctor, and possibly your CPA. It’s good info to know, but likely, we would get the newest information from the documents we have gathered.

Solo Ager Book

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If you’re a solo ager and you must use a power of attorney (POA), make it as limited as possible.

We received the following from a solo ager listener: “You state in your book that a financial power of attorney is not necessary if there’s a solid living trust in place. (I don’t feel the risk of abuse is a critical concern in my case). However, my lawyer says I need to name one.”- Lori

This attorney refused to complete our listener’s estate plan unless she included a financial power of attorney.

Why I avoid POAs whenever possible

Powers of attorney are very overpowered. It can be executed with just a simple notary with no witness requirements. But, for that basic execution, there is unlimited control over someone else’s finances, house, etc.

Powers of attorney are pretty unstructured. There are no guide rails in the law for how an agent under the POA is compensated or whether there should be an accounting proceeding.

Besides, if you have a revocable living trust, then you have most of the benefits of a power of attorney. You would only need a POA if you are traveling abroad or incapacitated. You’d need someone to manage the funds on your behalf so you don’t fall into arrears or foreclosure.

I don’t think the risk of having a financial power of attorney is worth covering those outlaying scenarios. If you ever read a standard power of attorney, you’ll see that the agent has the power to do almost anything with your finances and property.

A supreme example from the news headlines is of Brooke Astor, a famous New York philanthropist. Her son was able to siphon about $80 million from her estate with a simple POA, contrary to the rest of her estate plan.

You might read the scenario above and say, well, I’d only give power of attorney to someone I trust. We’ve seen people who used to be the most trusted candidates go astray. Money does interesting things to people. This fear should not keep you from creating an estate plan, but keep in mind that you should minimize the use of a POA.

Why would an estate planning lawyers insist you sign a POA

The short answer is that I don’t know why anyone would be that stubborn to make their client do things their way. It’s like a doctor saying, “Get this surgery and you will be better. If you don’t listen to me, then I won’t be your doctor anymore.”  If they can’t explain their reasons to your satisfaction and still insist, consider changing lawyers.

Some attorneys have always done estate planning “packages”, and haven’t changed with the times. It might be hard to leave an attorney that you’ve been working with for a long time and who you are otherwise comfortable with. But, if you can’t get a decent answer to this pretty powerful question, it might be worth getting at least a second opinion.

Ways to limit a power of attorney

If you feel that you need a power of attorney, then ask the attorney to make it a limited one. There are two main ways to limit a POA:

The first way is to get a springing POA instead of a general POA. A general POA is effective immediately upon signing. A springing POA is conditional; those powers only come into existence if certain conditions are met. Usually this means that you must be deemed incompetent by two physicians.

The second way to limit a POA is to only choose specific powers for the agent to have. You don’t want to check the box that says your agent under the POA has the power to gift all of your money. And you certainly don’t want to check the last box that says, “All of the above.” Carefully choose only the powers that are needed to accomplish your goals. If it’s not something you would do in your own capacity, don’t give someone else the power to do it!

Solo Ager

If you don’t already have my book, “The Solo Ager Estate Plan,” click the link below for a copy.

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E303 How to Choose an Executor Who Will Accept

A common question from our Solo Agers is: does my executor have to accept?

Because our Solo Agers spend a LOT of time carefully choosing who will be their executor, it would be terrible if that carefully chosen one decides to not even serve! Our Solo Agers understand the significance about who they choose, and they take it very seriously. We touched on this in Episode 221, but we’ll dig a little deeper into the topic here.

It’s just a nominated executor

The first thing to know is that this is just a nomination for an executor. When Solo Agers pick who they want as their executor, they should remember that it is not a contractually bound role. That chosen executor is not required to serve; he or she is just nominated for that position.

It is up to them if they decide to serve at the time of your passing. There are many reasons why the nominated executor may not accept. They may have new health problems, or maybe they moved. In fact, many nominated executors don’t even know they were appointed until the time comes.

Is being executor too much work?

There are some things to consider to be sure your executor will actually accept. Being an executor is difficult, and probate is a lengthy process. We discussed this in Episode 184, touching on the hours, months, and expertise required to fulfill the executor’s duties. It almost ends up being a full-time job! Having this job hanging over the executor’s head can easily stress them out.

It is important to choose someone who is well-suited, meaning they have the legal or tax background and especially the time to devote to the task. Or you can just hire a professional executor. We have the staff and systems set up to deal with the challenges of executorship.

Unfortunately, your nominated executor may agree to serve but won’t realize it’s too much work until they’ve already accepted. It is important that you do your research ahead of time so that you know what exactly you’re asking of them.

Is there enough compensation for your executor?

An executor may decline if it’s too much work for too little pay. In New York, executor compensation is set by state law, and it is a percentage of probate estate (meaning the assets that go through the executor’s control). But it does NOT include non-probate assets such as accounts with beneficiary designations.

If your estate includes creditors or tax issues, but there are only a few probate accounts to deal with the issues, your executor may decline to serve. Otherwise, your executor will be paid very little for dealing with all the headaches. No one wants to deal with that kind of mess and barely get paid.

A solution may be to write a minimum executor compensation in your will, so that even if there are not enough probate assets, your executor could still be reasonably compensated. However, the statute is already set, so the executor may have to fight to get paid properly.

Another solution is to make sure you have enough probate accounts by removing beneficiary designations from some of your accounts. However, your executor may not be able to accurately evaluate how much work is involved vs. how much compensation they will receive. Just because an estate is large does not necessarily mean that there are enough funds available to pay the executor properly.

If it turns out to be too much work for too little pay, they may end up with unhappy memories of you. If you think your estate might present the issues discussed above, give us a call to talk through the pros and cons of hiring a professional executor or not.

Solo Ager Book

Below is the link to my book, “The Solo Ager Estate Plan,” which addresses the challenges of probate and executorship. And, as always, keep sending in your questions!

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Executors see a lot of intimate details and secrets as part of their job. If the executor was a friend or family member of the decedent, this can be very emotional and hard to unsee. It’s often better for friends and family to have a disinterested professional executor instead. Using a professional executor without emotional connection can spare the family and friends from the intimate details.

Professional executors protect secrets

Executors have a legal duty to protect and honor the reputation of the decedent. Decision-making is not all about the money in the estate. Sometimes, the executor needs to make a decision that costs some money, but it’s worth it to protect the legacy and reputation of the deceased.

So, what kind of secrets might the executor need to protect?

It’s not exactly a secret, but oftentimes executors protect the legacy of the decedent’s living conditions. The executor understands that revealing a hoarding situation would be embarrassing. Similarly, the decedent may have been pinching pennies in a sparsely furnished apartment, but did not let anyone know about their true financial situation. An example of this was the Brooke Aster case: she was a very wealthy woman who contributed millions to charities. Unfortunately, her estate was heavily contested and the ugly details about her end-of-life living conditions became public. Ms. Aster had been sleeping on a urine-stained mattress in her kitchen. Not an image she would have wanted the public to envision.

Executors also protect the knowledge of the decedent’s habits. Sometimes the decedent drank more than people knew. Maybe that’s what the decedent felt he needed to do to get through his final years, but that doesn’t mean he’d want his family and friends to know. This also extends to drugs (prescription and recreational). Another habit to protect is the decedent’s pornography addiction or sexual habits. It would be uncomfortable for the kids and grandkids to know about grandma’s active sex life.

Professional executors spare your heirs from regret

We clean up those embarrassing apartments. It can be emotionally shocking for friends and family to see how you lived, ate, and slept. They might be unprepared to see a medicine cabinet full of pain killers. The image they draw from your living conditions may lead them to believe you were lonelier than you really were. It can cause them to grieve more once they see how you lived.

If you want them to have only the fondest memories, spare them from the estate cleanup.

Professional executors buffer drama among heirs

As we discussed, it is hard to unsee those secrets. This often leads to the heightened emotional state of the family/friend executor, which can spark conflict and drama among heirs. For example, the executor friend might blame the decedent’s boyfriend for not taking better care of her at the end of her life. Sometimes it’s better if family and friends are in the dark a bit; no need to see it all.

A professional executor can work through the issues of the estate without getting emotionally involved. To the extent that there is any drama, we act as a buffer. Let the heirs get mad at us.

Hiring a professional executor allows family and friends to have fond memories of you and allows them to continue healthy relationships with each other.

Solo Ager Book

To learn more about estate planning for Solo Agers, click the link below for a free copy of my book, “The Solo Ager Estate Plan.”

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Many of our Solo Agers wonder “how will my executor know I died?” (Especially if they’ve chosen me as their professional executor, as opposed to someone they see daily). Solo Agers tend to live alone, so this is a very understandable and common question.

Notify in case of death

In New York, many Solo Agers live in buildings with a doorman, which is very convenient. Many of these buildings have “Notify in Case of Death/Emergency” forms. The Solo Ager would put my name on the form and indicate that I am the executor. Also, your doorman or super will know if something is wrong when they don’t see you coming and going anymore. Over time, they tend to recognize routines and changes to them.

Some doctors have similar forms to add my name as attorney/executor. The doctor will know what to do from there.

Perhaps you made pre-paid funeral arrangements, or you have chosen your funeral home. The funeral home should also have the same type of forms.

Leave clues

Aside from having official paperwork to notify the executor, you should also leave clues of who to contact in case of death.

Make sure your executor is listed in your paper address book. Believe it or not, it’s not always easy to get contact information from a person’s cell phone.

Another way is to put the executor/attorney’s business card on the refrigerator. Hopefully it would be obvious to someone who comes into your home that they should call that attorney upon your passing.

Once you have asked us to be your executor, we send you items on occasion, such as books and holiday cards. This is a less subtle way to let someone know who to contact. Maybe your neighbor comes in and finds that you have passed. If she sees the “How to Hire a Professional Executor Book” on your coffee table and a holiday card from us on the mantel, then hopefully she would put the clues together and call our office.

Annual check-ins

Once you hire us to be your professional executors, we call you for annual check-ins. These calls will naturally result in casual mentions among friends: “I was just taking to my executor…”

So now your friends know that you have a professional executor, even if they don’t know my name. That should trigger them to search for my name upon your passing. Asking friends to remember little details of your life is probably not realistic. So, a few clues are more likely to recall something you said earlier.

Another reason these check-in calls are helpful is that the conversations give me an update on ongoing health issues. If there is a downward trend, I will know to monitor your situation a little more often.

Worst case scenario, if you were to pass away a minute after we hang up from our annual call, I’ll know within a year when it’s time for our next call. It’s not ideal, but it works.

There’s no perfect way of letting me know, but these are the most common scenarios. If you don’t already have one, please click the link below to get a free copy of my book, “The Solo Ager Estate Plan.”

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